Anorexic Emotions

by Ann Eustace

I know you anorexic friend,

We are alike in battles, for control.

Your body shape will be the way you see it.

Not with your cursed mirror telling you

"You are the fattest one of all."

Like you, my starving girl I say

"Cold soul is one thing I will be."

What I starve are my emotions, whereas before

I let myself be transparent and suffered.

Now I cannot have the strawberry shortcake of joy,

Leaden potato of sorrow, boiling chili of fury

Sometimes I give my feelings freedom,

alone and safe I disgorge them, drowning in tears,

punishing myself with fists, twirling in drunken excitement.

We must learn, nothing that is starved is healthy

Perhaps as I see your skeletal self, to live

you must put on some strengthening

flesh and I must lose some armored shell.

I pray to find some gentle guide whom we can trust

to lead us on the path unto our bread.

© Ann Eustace